Weather

Daily East Ham weather service, from the Hammer HQ weather station.


* Due to funding irregularities, East Ham’s weather has been discontinued. The East Hammer apologies for any inconvenience *


22 October 2015

Weather reading taken: 07:30am

weather 22.10.15

Summary: nice. If you’re visiting East Ham, there’s a chance you’ll be told you “brought the weather with you”. But it’ll get crap again in the afternoon and you won’t be welcome anymore.

Precipitation: N/A

Overall weather quotient:  falling from infinity, but still high and unapologetic.


21 October 2015

Weather reading taken: 17:45pm

weather 21.10.15

Summary: a localised depression will leave everyone moving in or out of East Ham feeling sad. The Met Office advises against all but essential travel.

Precipitation: updrafts will whip tears in to the air, causing anthropogenic drizzle to form by late afternoon.

Overall weather quotient:  tending towards infinity, following a spate of quotient denominator theft.


20 October 2015

Weather reading taken: 17:00pm

weather 20.10.15

Summary: strong winds from the Green Way will give the air a faint whiff of excrement. Not everyone’s cup of tea, but a welcome relief gardeners after all the calm weather.

Precipitation: occasional showers, but likely to become lost, leaving dry conditions at ground-level.

Overall weather quotient: much more tangible after yesterday, at around a 1.5, which is normal for this time of year.


19 October 2015

Weather reading taken: 17:30pm

weather 19.10.15

Summary: stiff clouds are venting most of the weather northwards to Manor Park, leaving calm conditions over East Ham. Not a day for flying kites.

Precipitation: as above.

Overall weather quotient: vacuum-like conditions have rendered the weather impervious to measurement. Quotient will be updated tomorrow.


18 October 2015

Weather reading taken: 8:30am

weather 18.10.15

Summary: mainly cloudy, occasionally giving way to cracks of blue, which will give the sky the appearance of being old and relaxed.

Precipitation: patchy vertical showers.

Overall weather quotient: strong, reaching highs of 2.2.


17 October 2015

Weather reading taken: 10:40am

weather 17.10.15

Summary: looks a little like someone “up there” got lazy and copy and pasted yesterday’s weather. Feels like it might be a bit windier though.

Precipitation: unlikely.

Overall weather quotient: lacks variety and imagination. Really disappointing.


16 October 2015

Weather reading taken: 17:10pm
weather 16.10.15Summary: pretty bleak. Best to stay indoors if you can. Likely to remain bleak and become darker during the night.

Precipitation: possible.

Overall weather quotient: grey, verging on white.


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